Group Therapy
by GreekEMTSlytherinSpriteFairy
Summary: The team has to endure an our of group therapy, but sadly, it gets worse. H/P, Ro/JJ, M/G
1. Chapter 1

AN: All I can say is... It's Cassie's fault. So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Just kidding, I'll explain more. So Cassie and I were talking (Big surprise, right?) and Cassie and I had a bet on if the whole team went to group counseling how long would it be before the therapist quit? You don't want to know how we got to that conclusion though. You might call the loony bin on us. So what inspired? A fic about the team going to group therapy! So now you can sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only own Dr. Lynne Harris

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Dave tensed as a knock sounded on his door. He slid to the floor as the heavy wood was pushed open.

JJ pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips as she stared at Dave's chair. Where the hell had he gone? Suddenly she heard a thud and a hiss and JJ rolled her eyes, walking around the desk and crouching next to it.

"It's time to go." Dave stared at her innocently.

"Oh! Is it really? I just dropped my pen."

"Really? Is that why you're not stuck hiding out under your desk?" Dave scoffed.

"I'm not hiding." JJ raised her eyebrow and watched Dave try to crawl out from under his desk. A few curses, pushes, grunts and thuds, Dave looked at JJ. "I'm stuck." JJ laughed and held her hand out to him. With a few more curses, JJ hitting her head on the desk, and Dave's pants almost coming off, Dave was finally out from under the desk.

"Just for that, there will be no complaining for the next two hours or I will take Henry to my place tonight." Dave pouted at JJ.

"But... But Jen! It's," Dave looked around and lowered his voice to a low hiss, "therapy."

"Yes Dave, it is. And you can be a big boy and go to therapy with the rest of us." JJ sighed at Dave's crestfallen face. "I'll make you a deal. If you behave I will hold your hand on the way to therapy."

"And on the way back?" JJ sighed.

"Fine and on the way back." Dave grabbed JJ's hand and held it tightly, pulling her from the office.

"Well what are we waiting for then?" They stopped as Hotch and Emily left the unit chief's office, Hotch rubbing his head. "What happened?" Emily rolled her eyes and walked down the stairs.

"Come on you two. It's an hour. What could possibly happen?" Aaron looked at JJ.

"You never ask that question, JJ."

"It's basic Murphy's Law" Reid supplied as they stopped by his desk. "It states that what can go wrong will go wrong and while not scientifically proven, it's superstitiously believed that when you ask what could go wrong, a lot of bad things will happen."

"Thanks Reid" JJ muttered.

"No, thank you Jen, for cursing us. Now the question is what will go wrong?" Dave asked. Hotch sighed as Morgan walked up to them, sipping on his coffee.

"This is exactly what we don't need. Some psycho coming in and trying to get into our heads. Thanks, but no thanks."

"It's mandatory, Morgan" Hotch said.

"Come, my sweet dark chocolate! We'll sit together!"

"Ah, mama, I don't want to go" Morgan whined.

"You know," Reid said standing up and shouldering his back before he grabbed his own coffee, "Almost 20 percent of Americans go to some form of therapy and another 20 percent take some form of medication for their anxiety or depression. So it won't make us crazy for going."

"But we are crazy" Emily said as their small group made their way to the conference room.

"Now we can be crazy and share it with someone else" Dave muttered. JJ pinched his stomach. "Hey!"

"Now now Dave, didn't we agree that you would behave?"

"I AM behaving!" JJ gave him a warning look as Aaron entered the room first, moving towards the slim brunette standing at the front of the room.

"You must be Doctor Harris. I'm Special Agent in Charge Aaron Hotchner and this is my team. David Rossi, Jennifer Jareau, Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, and Penelope Garcia." The woman shook everyone's hand as Aaron introduced them.

"It's nice to meet you all. I'm Doctor Lynne Harris and I know you all must not want to be here, but the faster we get started, the faster we can leave."

"Sounds good to me!" Dave and Morgan cheered. The therapist laughed.

"Ok, so who would like to go first?" The team remained silent. "Oh we won't bite. Come on. What about you, Agent Reid?"

"Doctor" Reid corrected automatically.

"Oh I'm sorry. Why don't you start Doctor Reid?" Reid shifted and threw glares at the couples beside him who were working on trying to remain invisible.

"Well... I don't really..."

"He's a recovered drug addict!" Dave blurted. Reid's face flamed red as he glared at Dave.

"Says the alcoholic dating a woman with commitment issues."

"What did I do to you?" JJ demanded. Aaron watched as Dr. Harris continuously took notes.

"Hey, don't you dare insult Jen because of that two bit Cajun!" Dave shouted.

"Leave JJ alone, Pretty boy." Morgan said calmly.

"Let's all calm down now and let our little nutter cracker catch up!" Garcia chirped. Dr. Harris frowned.

"Did you just calm me a... nutter cracker?"

"Yes ma'am I did!"

"She's the eccentric of the group" Hotch explained.

"Are you always so cheery?" Garcia nodded brightly.

"Yup! I like to stay upbeat for the team!"

"So you hide your true emotions behind a mask of fake cheer?"

"Yup! Wait! No! It's not fake!" Dr. Harris made another note. "It's not fake! Tell her my chocolate god!" Morgan pat Garcia's hand gently.

"Don't worry sweetness. We know it's not fake."

"You must have a hero complex" Dr. Harris noted, looking at Morgan. "This is the second time you've jumped to a woman's defense."

"I don't have a hero complex. I don't like to see anyone blamed for something that's not their fault." Dr. Harris made a note on her pad of paper. She circled the word 'narcissist' next to his name.

"What about Hotch and Emily? You haven't picked on them yet!" Morgan growled out, pointing at the two in question. Dr. Harris smiled at Emily.

"Why don't we start with you, Agent Prentiss?"

"Um... Ok..." Emily shifted in her seat as everyone looked at her expectantly. "Um... what am I supposed to say?"

"Emily compartmentalizes everything!" Morgan yelled. Emily gave him an exasperated look.

"Is that true, Agent Prentiss?"

"Well on the job I do. I can't let my guard down."

"What happens when you're off the clock?" Emily remained silent, glaring across the table at Morgan. "What was your childhood like?"

"I was constantly moving since my mother was an ambassador. Always making new friends and having to leave them a short while later."

"Are you afraid your current friends will leave or that you'll have to leave them?" Emily's mind flashed backed to her time after Doyle.

"Yes." Dr. Harris made a note on her yellow paper. The group waited anxiously as she looked at Hotch.

"What about you agent Hotchner? What would your colleagues say is wrong with you?"

"He has no emotions" they commented together. Dr. Harris blinked.

"I think that answered your question, ma'am. I tend to distance myself from this job. I have to in order to raise my son properly."

"I don't see a wedding band, Agent Hotchner."

"My ex-wife is deceased" he responded without emotion. Dr. Harris nodded slowly as she wrote.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." The response was quick, emotionless, planned. It was a knee jerk reaction.

"So..." Dave said breaking the silence in the room. "We've all discussed our problems. Is it time for us to go?" JJ kicked him under the table, making him wince.

"Behave" she hissed at him. Dr. Harris looked down at her writing pad.

Dr. Spencer Reid- drug addict. Agent David Rossi- alcoholic. Agent Jennifer Jareau- Commitment issues. Penelope Garcia- Hides her true emotions behind a mask of fake cheeriness. Agent Derek Morgan- Hero complex and a narcissist. Agent Emily Prentiss- Compartmentalizes, abandonment issues, anxiety. Agent Hotchner- Single father, shows no emotion even when talking about dead wife.

"Doctor Harris?" Morgan asked hopefully.

"Sadly, we haven't even scratched the surface yet. We're going to be here a while." The whole team groaned.

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AN: So that was chapter one! It was supposed to be a one shot, but this turned into a multichapter story. Just what I needed. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! I know I did!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Wow… you people apparently really like this story! I'm so glad! Well this chapter we tick Dave off and get started on JJ. Don't worry. Everyone will get their turn! Poor Hotch though! Alright so that's about all I have so sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only own the plotline.

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"So which of you would like to go first?" Each member of the team slid further down in their seat as Dr. Harris adjusted her glasses. "Come on guys. The more we talk, the faster we'll get to leave." Reid raised his hand. "Oh don't feel like you need to raise your hand, Dr. Reid. Please, go on."

"Well I think it might be more beneficial if you were to choose one of us to go first." Dr. Harris sighed and rubbed her temple.

"Alright, why don't you go first, Dr. Reid?" Reid squeaked.

"Me? But... but it was my suggestion!"

"Take one for the team, kid." Dave muttered. Reid glared at the older man.

"Dr. Reid?" Reid took a deep breath and let it out.

"Agent Rossi is a sexual fiend. Before he retired the first time he had slept with every girl in the FBI."

"REID!" Dave roared as JJ laughed. Aaron massaged his temples as Emily pat his thigh sympathetically.

"Admit it Dave. You are an old pervert" Morgan added, happy that the attention had not been directed at him. Dave glared at the younger men as Garcia snickered.

"Agent Rossi, why don't we start with you? A womanizer and an alcoholic."

"I'm NOT an alcoholic. I just like a stiff one at the end of the day."

"Is it ever more than one?" Dave stiffened.

"Look, I don't like your tone, doctor." JJ pinched Dave's stomach, making him jump and rub the tender spot. "Occasionally."

"I see." Dr. Harris flipped to a new page and scribbled something down. _Probably something about me being an alcoholic man whore_, Dave thought glumly. "So how often do you have more than one?"

"I'm not an alcoholic. I have a little boy in my life I think of like a son!"

"So, you drink with children around?"

"Jesus Christ lady I'm going to shove my foot so far up your..."

"DAVID ROSSI!" JJ screeched. Dave gestured at the doctor.

"Deal's off Jayje. I'm out of here."

"Dave, sit your ass in that seat and be quiet. If we don't all sit here for the required hour we will have to do this over again" Hotch growled through clenched teeth as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Dave sighed, looking longingly at the door as he sat down in his seat once again. "Thank you."

"Well, that was interesting. Agent Rossi, would you like to try that again?" Dr. Harris asked him. Dave glared at the woman. "Alright let's talk about your womanizing ways. How many times have you been married?" Dave slid down in his seat, trying to become invisible.

"Three."

"And you've had numerous affairs?"

"I can't help it if my fans were willing to help and old man and his needs."

"And how many of those young women did you take advantage of?" Dave looked appalled.

"Look lady, I may have used to like a romp or two in the closest supply closet, but that hasn't been the case in twenty years! And I'd NEVER take advantage of a woman. Jesus, I can't believe you accused me of that!

"It's a valid question agent Rossi. Things get heated, you don't ask for ID. It's completely understandable."

"Understandable? Do you know who you're questioning?"

"SSA David Rossi, legendary profiler, author, and womanizer." Dave spluttered indignantly.

"You are a piece of work, lady! Besides I'm in a committed relationship." Dr. Harris pursed her lips and made another note. "Jesus, can you tell us what you're writing? Its bringing our paranoia to the forefront!"

"These are my notes, Agent Rossi, so I can figure out how to help you the most. Now, back to the womanizing, you're dating Agent Jareau, correct?" Dave smiled lovingly at JJ, who looked positively murderous.

"Yes, ma'am. And as you can..."

"And doesn't this relationship cross the lines of the FBI's strict no fraternization rule?" Dave huffed.

"Are we in therapy or sexual harassment training?"

"Well, after this, we will probably need both" Hotch murmured pressing the heel of his hand to his eye, trying to ease the headache that this therapy session had caused. It had to be almost over, right?

"Now Agent Rossi, why are you rejecting my help?"

"Because," Dave smiled innocently, "you're a crack pot who wants me to break down into tears and tell you how wrong I am to do it. I've made mistakes and I'll admit to them, right Jen?"

"You have yet to apologize to me for spilling coffee all over my favorite sweater."

"I said I was sorry!" JJ ignored him, making Dave huff in indignation. "Anyway, the fact of the matter is I don't regret either of those things. When you can go a whole day in this job without a glass of alcohol to ease those pictures then you are too jaded and need to retire." The room was silent for a few moments.

"So you're excusing your drinking?" Dave reached his hands out and pretended to strangle the doctor. "Now you're threatening me, Agent Rossi?"

"No! I'm trying to get you to see reason!" Dr. Harris made a few more notes on her pad of paper before flipping to a new page.

"Let's move on to someone else shall we? It's obvious Agent Rossi isn't going to answer my questions."

"I am!" Dave whined. "You aren't listening!"

Dr. Harris looked at her sheet of paper. David Rossi was a womanizing, alcoholic, narcissist. He was going to be a lot of work. And if he was the easy one, it was going to be a long day.

"How about you, Agent Jareau?" JJ slid down in her seat. "Why don't you go next?"

"I'd rather not" the blonde muttered. Dave nudged her.

"Come on Jen. Behave and participate!" JJ smacked Dave's leg.

"Shut up!" she hissed.

"Dr. Reid said you have commitment issues, Agent Jareau." JJ glared at Reid, the younger man staring intently into his coffee cup.

"I don't have commitment issues, Dr. Harris. I just haven't found the One to settle down with, you know?" Dr. Harris shook her head.

"What was wrong with the," she flipped to her first page of notes, "Cajun Agent Rossi mentioned?"

"He was an asshole" Dave replied bluntly. JJ rolled her eyes.

"He was upset that I didn't want to marry him and he cheated on me." Dr. Harris made a note and JJ shifted. That notebook was scarier than Strauss before her first cup of coffee in the morning. Hotch rubbed his temples as he closed his eyes. This was going to be a long day.

"God help us."

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AN: So how was it folks? Poor Hotch. He might make it through the day! Thank you all for your continued support. Thanks for reading, please review.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: And here we are with chapter three! As per request, Hotch is after we finish up with JJ. I haven't decided who I want to tackle next. Maybe Emily. Alright so I don't have much more to say about this, but sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only own the plotline.

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Dr. Harris pursed her lips as she and JJ continued their staring contest.

"Are you going to answer my question, Agent Jareau?" JJ shook her head.

"Hell I don't even remember what the question was anymore" Morgan muttered as he tried to balance a pen on his nose. Dr. Harris sighed.

"Do you have trust issues, Agent Jareau?"

"I remember the question ma'am and like I said, twenty minutes ago, I don't have trust issues." Reid sat forward, his hand raised.

"Yes, Dr. Reid?"

"It was actually 34 minutes and 56 seconds ago" he answered. JJ glared at the man.

"Spence, keep your mouth shut or you'll be next" JJ warned. Reid slunk down in his seat, suddenly finding something very interesting with his shoes. "Dr. Harris, while I appreciate your help, there's nothing wrong with me."

"That's what everyone says, Agent Jareau. In fact trust and commitment issues are some of the more common problems. Where you ever hurt as a child? Perhaps by your father?" JJ stared at the doctor in wide eyed disbelief.

"What does my childhood have to do with this?"

"It's a very important aspect in what makes us who we are today."

"B...Wha... Dave's right! You ARE a crack pot! I don't have commitment issues! Spence was just trying to get the attention off of himself! I will settle down and marry someone when I find the right person! Do NOT rush me!"

"Agent Jareau, the first step to getting help is admitting you need help."

"I DON'T NEED HELP!" she screamed. Hotch stared at the window in the conference room wondering if it would open enough for him to jump through. Or perhaps the floor would swallow him up whole. Either option was preferable to sitting here as she went from one team member to another.

Dr. Harris made a few notes on her pad of paper, circling a few words and underlining some others.

"Dr. Harris, perhaps it would be better if you just talked to us. The pad is making my team nervous." She looked up from her pad and smiled at Aaron.

"Why don't we move on to you then, Agent Hotchner? You seem to be willing to give this therapy session a go. Unlike your subordinates." The team glared at her as Aaron stared at her with a dear caught in the headlights look.

"What? Why me?" Aaron asked, whining slightly.

"There, there" Emily said, patting his hand comfortingly. "You can point the rest of us in the right direction as to what this is supposed to be like."

"Agent Hotchner, are you in a relationship with Agent Prentiss?" Morgan coughed to cover his laugh as Dave roared with laughter.

"Try engaged" Reid piped up. Dr. Harris pursed her lips and with a curt nod wrote something on her notepad.

"Thank you, Reid" Hotch muttered darkly, now praying that there was a serial killer in Russia that they needed to go track down. He could handle the cold as long as it got him as far away from this therapy session as possible.

"So you are no longer a single father?" Hotch slid his stoic mask back into place as he looked at Dr. Harris.

"No, ma'am. As Dr. Reid said, Agent Prentiss and I are engaged to be married."

"Do you have emotions, Agent Hotchner?" He blinked at the random question.

"Um, yes ma'am?" Dr. Harris made another note as Hotch frowned at Emily.

"And do you show emotions?"

"W-Well not at work. I have to distance myself from the cases or they can get too personal."

"And what about with your co-workers? Do you show them to your team?" The team snorted.

"No" they echoed.

"Thanks guys. I'll remember this" he muttered. "I feel I show my co-workers the appropriate emotions at work. When we are off the clock I show my friends and family the proper emotion for the occasion, ma'am."

"Did you cry when your wife died?" There was a beat of silence before everyone started talking at once.

"That is a personal question!"

"That was uncalled for!"

"I call FOUL!"

"CRACK POT!"

"He has a heart!"

"You don't know him well enough to ask a question like that!" The team settled down, hatred still burning in their eyes as Hotch frowned at the table.

"Yes. I cried, but as my team screamed, that topic is not up for discussion." Dr. Harris nodded and made a note. _Touchy about dead wife, but marrying again. Are there feelings in this man?_ Hotch thought sourly. _Stupid notepad._

"So Agent Hotchner, it seems as if your team doesn't agree with your assessment of your emotions. Why do you think that is?"

"I think that if my team has problems with my emotions they can come talk to me." Hotch stared Dr. Harris straight in the eye, neither one blinking.

"Here we go again" Morgan said as he tipped his head back and once again tried to balance his pen on his nose. Reid pulled out his book and started reading. Emily sat forward and waved her hand between the two. Neither blinked.

"Think we can sneak out?" Dave whispered.

"David Rossi if you move an inch out of your seat, I will shoot you" Hotch said without even looking away. Dave pouted and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes.

"Fine. I'll take a nap. Someone wake me when this staring contest is over."

"At this rate, we won't have to do paperwork today" JJ muttered as she pulled out her cell phone. Emily leaned around Aaron to look at the phone.

"Did you take pictures of Halloween?"

"Ooo! I want to see my gum drop Jr. dressed up!" Garcia said as she raced around the table. JJ pulled up the pictures of Henry dressed as a little knight.

"Daddy was a wizard while mommy was the princess. Mudgie was his horse." The three woman ooed and awed over the pictures as Morgan continued to try and balance his pen and Dave slept. Reid eventually ventured over to the woman, having finished his book as Dr. Harris and Hotch continued their staring contest. It was going to be a long day.

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AN: When does Hotch blink? Never. So it really truly is going to be a long day! Good luck to you Dr. Harris! Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: And we're back with Emily and the beginning of Morgan! After we found out who won the staring contest of course, but really, who doesn't expect Hotch to win? Anyway, this is full of Hotch wanting to use his gun, probably more on his teammates than himself. Anyway, sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only own the plotline and Dr. Harris.

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"Perhaps we should move on to the next person, Dr. Harris" Hotch murmured an hour later when the good doctor finally blinked.

"Are you always so cold, Agent Hotchner?"

"I think my personality has a lot to do with the situation I am in and the people I'm surrounded by. If that calls for a cold, professional demeanor, then so be it." Dr. Harris sighed and made a few more notes on her pad before flipping to the next page.

"Agent Prentiss, why don't we go to you next?"

"Ma'am?" Emily asked wearily.

"How would you describe your relationship with Agent Hotchner? Is it as cold as impersonal as he is?" Emily stared at Dr. Harris incredulously.

"No I'd say it's more hot and steamy." Hotch's head dropped to the table as the others started to laugh. "He's not like you think, Dr. Harris. There's a difference between Agent Hotchner and Aaron. Besides, I thought we were working on me next, not him?"

"You're right Agent Prentiss. So, you have abandonment issues?"

"No, that's what you said I have. I'm perfectly fine in my own skin."

"Surely not, Agent Prentiss. Agent Morgan claims you compartmentalize everything. Is that true?"

"As I've said before, Dr. Harris" Emily said through clenched teeth, "I do it so I don't let my guard down on cases." Dr. Harris made a few notes.

"What is with all this hostility, Agent Prentiss? I'm just asking a few questions to get to the root of your problems."

"You know what my problem is, Dr. Harris? It's people like YOU who think they can magically make everything better!" Hotch lifted his head slightly and let it fall back to the table with a loud thud. "Talking doesn't always help everyone and you need to understand we," Emily gestured to the group, "aren't quick to trust anyone, let alone some nosey woman who breaks into our ranks and makes us talk while she WRITES IN A STUPID LITTLE NOTEBOOK!" Another thud reverberated throughout the room as Hotch banged his head again.

"I see this notebook is making you all uncomfortable" Dr. Harris noted. Dave snorted.

"For all we know you could be calling us psychotic lunatics like the people we hunt and we need to be put on medication and locked away."

"Or she could be writing down fantasies of what she'd like to do with us" Morgan said with a laugh. Hotch looked up at the two men before trying to lunge at Morgan.

"One hour! Is ONE HOUR of cooperation too much to ask?" Hotch yelled as Emily pushed him back in his seat.

"Hotch-rocket, one hour passed two hours ago." Hotch looked down at his watch and sure enough they had really been there for three hours.

"Does this mean our time's up?" Dave asked hopefully.

"Sit down, Agent Rossi. I have yet to finish talking with Agent Prentiss and haven't even begun with Agents Morgan, Garcia, and Reid."

"Doctor Reid" Reid piped up. The others glared at him as he slunk further down in his seat.

"And, Agent Rossi, Agent Morgan, this book only contains pure facts that I've gathered from our time together."

"Dr. Harris," Hotch said, his tone implying that he was at the end of his rope with this stupid session. Forget Russia. Mars wasn't far enough away from this room anymore. "Perhaps you should just ask your questions and forget all about that stupid notebook before one of my agents walk out of here."

"I am afraid I can't do that agent Hotchner. I need written proof that I have done my job in talking to you."

"Man, why are we even here? I know its mandatory, but what for? What good is group therapy going to do us?" Morgan asked as he propped his feet up on the table. A twitch started in both Dr. Harris and Hotch's eye.

"I don't know Morgan, nor do I care. We can't leave until she gives us the ok and while none of you are making this easy, none of you are helping the situation. The faster we talk the faster we can go." Hotch paused. "Get your feet off the table!" Morgan looked at him wide eyed as he dropped his feet to the floor. Emily bit her lip to keep from laughing as she rubbed Aaron's back. "Please continue, Dr. Harris."

"Would you like me to move on, Agent Prentiss, or should we finish?" Emily sighed and looked at Hotch, who was rubbing his forehead.

"Let's finish this." Dr. Harris smiled at her.

"Very well. Now, why do you compartmentalize everything? Is it because you're afraid of getting hurt? Or do you remain emotionless to please your fiancé?" Emily stared at her.

"What? That doesn't even make sense! Why would being emotionless please Aaron? He has emotions! Lots of them that he shows me, frequently!" Emily pointed at Dave and JJ. "Why did they get off the hook for their relationship so easily, huh? Is it because they show emotions? I mean come on, Dr. Harris!"

"It was a simple question, Agent Prentiss."

"It was a STUPID question, Dr. Harris!"

"Do you find this therapy session unnecessary?" Emily nodded.

"Without a doubt. I don't even know why we're here!"

"Obviously it's to work on all of these problems of ours, Em" Morgan said snickering across the table. Dr. Harris wrote a few more notes.

"How about we move on to you next, Agent Morgan?" Morgan's face fell. Garcia laughed and pat him on the arm.

"There there, my chocolate god of thunder. You'll survive. Just move on quickly or you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight." Morgan sighed and looked at Dr. Harris.

"Hit me with your best shot." Dr. Harris made a note at the top of her fresh piece of paper_. Look at all that paper, Derek. It's all for you_, he thought glumly. _Stupid notebook._

"How many women have you slept with, Agent Morgan?"

"Excuse me?"

"How many? Just a guess if you don't know for sure." Morgan stared at her incredulously. "I'm assuming you and Agent Garcia are together, but I know for a fact that you're the Don Juan of the BAU, excluding Agent Rossi pre-retirement."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It explains your character a bit more to me. Do you like saving a damsel in distress then have her repay you with say, a blow job?"

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AN: *grins* Oh there will be some good material next chapter. We'll finish up Morgan and move on to Reid! I know… Garcia should be next, but I want to end with Garcia. Don't worry I know what I'm doing. Ok, so maybe you should worry… Anyway! Thanks for reading! Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Alright, so I tried to make this chapter funny, but Morgan and Reid elude me. It didn't work the way I wanted it too, but Hotch has a nice little freak out at the end. I honestly don't know if he can make it through another interrogation… er, I mean questioning session with the good doctor. We'll see. Anyway sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only own Dr. Harris and the plotline.

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"Wh...B...Wh...Who?" Morgan spluttered, outraged that she would say such a thing. "Where the hell did you get an idea like that from? I don't do this job to attract the ladies, I do it to protect those who can't! Besides," Morgan took Garcia's hand and held it tightly. "There's only one mama for me."

"I see" Dr. Harris said, making a few notes. Dave's hand reached across the table to snag the book, but she smacked his hand away without even looking up. "How many times have you created a situation so you could save someone?"

"Dr. Harris..." Hotch warned, his headache moving from a small stress headache to a massive migraine. Had the lights always been so damned bright?

"Hell no! Are you insane woman? Why would I do something like that! I DON'T have a hero complex!"

"But you aren't denying the narcissism?"

"What? When did I become a narcissist?" Dr. Harris set her pen down and stared at Morgan.

"Agent Morgan, you constantly kick in doors of suspects and chase them down. You prefer to save woman and you are constantly looking for approval. You follow your own set of rules with no regards to others. Your numerous sexual conquests say that you're looking to prove you're good in bed."

"Lady, you don't know the first thing about me."

"Derek Morgan, 41, native of Chicago. You watched as your father was murdered in front of you when you were ten, which is the real reason you joined the FBI. You wanted to stop children from witnessing what you did."

"You know basic facts about me. You don't know what motivates me and you sure as hell don't know what I'm thinking." Morgan tapped the table with his hand. "That is why this session is completely bogus."

"Then tell me Agent Morgan. Tell me what you're thinking and feeling." Morgan shook his head with a laugh.

"I don't have to tell you anything." Dr. Harris frowned and made a note on her pad of paper before flipping to the next page, smiling at Reid.

"Since Agent Morgan isn't cooperating, how about we move on, Agent Reid?"

"Doctor" Reid muttered, sliding further down into his seat, hoping he would eventually meld with the piece of furniture. "Isn't Garcia next?"

"Oh no, my little genius! You have to do this too."

"Garcia" Reid whined slightly, looking at the other members of his team for help. He had already been through this more times than he'd like to count.

"So, Agent Reid..."

"Doctor."

"Sorry, Doctor Reid. Agent Rossi says you're a drug addict."

"Recovered."

"I'm sorry?" Reid cleared his throat and looked around.

"I'm a recovered drug addict. I'm no longer taking the medication."

"But you were a drug addict?"

"Yes, but I'm recovered. I've been sober three plus years," he paused, "ma'am."

"Well congratulations Dr. Reid. You seem to be the one to open up the most."

"Well, no ma'am. This is common knowledge. The team is my support system. With the exception of Dave, they were all there for my addiction."

"What do you mean?" Reid hesitated. "What drug were you addicted to, Agent Reid?"

"Doctor and dilaudid, ma'am."

"I see." She made a few notes on her pad of paper. Hotch glared at the offending book, hoping against all hope that it would suddenly burst into flames. Alas, it didn't. "And did you come to work high, Agent Reid?"

"Doctor and yes ma'am. I was dependent on the drug."

"I see, so any of those criminals apprehended could sue for you being drugged upon apprehension?" Reid blinked.

"No, ma'am. We work as a team and besides snapping at my teammates occasionally, no one could tell a difference."

"So you're excusing your drug habits?" Reid frowned.

"That's not what I said." Dave clapped him on the shoulder.

"It won't work. Trust me" he murmured, glaring at the woman in front of them, who was still taking notes.

_Drug addict who doesn't think drugs are bad. _Reid thought. _Stupid notebook._

"Alright Agent Reid..."

"DOCTOR! IT'S DOCTOR REID!" Reid shouted. Dr. Harris smiled at him as he looked at her in wide eyed horror.

"I'm sorry, Doctor Reid. I forget."

"Obviously" Hotch muttered, leaning his head back, praying that their time was up. Thankfully they only had Garcia left.

"So, before I move on to the last person, I'd just like to ask why you are all so against this therapy session? It's supposed to be to help you grow as people." Hotch slammed his hands onto the table.

"You're accusing us of things that we are not and you won't listen to us. I can only imagine what is written in that notebook of yours, but I personally think it's whatever you want to see is wrong with us."

"Maybe Strauss hired her" Dave muttered. Hotch shot him a glare.

"I don't want to hear a word out of any of you unless it's to answer her questions!" Hotch barked, his glare moving from member to member. "Am I understood?" They all nodded silently as Hotch leaned back in his chair. "Now, finish with Garcia, Dr. Harris and cut us lose before I empty my gun into one of my team members."

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AN: Well this was a bit shorter than the other chapters, sorry. I hope I got a few funny moments in there for you all. Poor Reid. No one thinks of him as a doctor. So thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Alright so this is the final chapter of Group Therapy, but there will be a sequel in the next couple of days entitles 'Sexual Harassment Training'. So be on the lookout for that! I'd like to thank you all for the encouragement and I hope you enjoy the final chapter! So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only own Dr. Harris and the plotline.

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Dr. Harris stared at Hotch as he continued to glare at his subordinates.

"That was inappropriate, Agent Hotchner. There's no need for such violence or anger. I have all day." Hotch turned his glare to her.

"No offense, ma'am," Emily smirked proudly. He had learned how to sneer a term of respect almost as well as she could. "My team and I don't have all day. We need to get back to work."

"I see. Well in that case why don't we move on to Agent Garcia?"

"Agent? I like that, but I'm just a technical analyst, Sweet Pea." Dr. Harris looked at Garcia as she made another note on a clean sheet of paper.

"Do you give everyone a nickname, Ms. Garcia?"

"Well, yeah." She went around the table, pointing at each person as she said it. "Cupcake, Hotch-Rocket and his adorable Jack-in-the-box, Gumdrop and her adorable Gumdrop Jr., Stallion, Genius, and Chocolate God."

"Did you ever consider that your co-workers don't appreciate the names? That they might be perceived as too sexual in nature?"

"What?" Garcia looked at the others tears in her eyes. "You don't like the names? Why didn't you tell me?" Morgan grabbed her hand.

"Don't think that mama. We love your names."

"Dr. Harris," Hotch said with a sigh. "Garcia's nicknames aren't on trial here. We don't have a problem with them so please refrain from putting words into our mouths and move on to her therapy session," he paused. "Please."

Dr. Harris pursed her lips once again and made another note on the paper.

"So, Ms. Garcia, tell me about your childhood. How did someone like you get into the FBI?"

"Someone like me?"

"I think she means your personality" Emily said, glaring at Dr. Harris.

"Oh, ok. Well my parents were killed in a car accident when I was eighteen and I dropped out of Caltech and continued to teach myself computer code and somehow made it on to the FBI list. I was given the option of helping or being arrested."

"So you're a criminal?"

"What? No! I decided to use my powers for good instead of evil!"

"Uh huh." Dr. Harris made another note. Criminal blonde tricks FBI into hiring her. Stupid notebook, Garcia thought grumpily, glaring slightly at the offending book. Nothing good would come of what Dr. Harris wrote. "So, Ms. Garcia, how did you cope with your parents' death?"

"Uh, like any other person would? I grieved and dropped out of college."

"Was college your choice, or did your parents force you to go?"

"Well it was my choi..."

"So you couldn't afford it? Is that why you dropped out."

"Watch your tone" Morgan growled out as he tightened his grip on Garcia's hand. "She's not a criminal, so stop interrogating her."

"I'm simply questioning her to find out the truth, Agent Morgan."

"You're treating her like I would an unsub in interrogation. It's called badgering the witness and it only exists to provoke and argument between a witness and the examiner. In this case you're trying to provoke a fight with us so that we will show you our true emotions and feelings" Reid said.

"Agent Reid..."

"DOCTOR!" the group yelled together.

"Sorry, Doctor Reid, but we aren't on trial here." Dave snorted.

"Could have fooled me."

"I'm simply asking questions to get to the bottom of the problem so we can all reach an easy solution."

"You're accusing us of things we aren't!" Morgan cried.

"No, I simply found flaws and problems that you couldn't see." Emily laughed.

"Dr. Harris," Hotch said sharply, cutting off further arguments from his team, "I'm sure you're just trying to do your job, but this is ridiculous. We've been here for FOUR hours, three hours longer than required and I'm honestly surprised my team hasn't gotten up and left yet."

"You know what?" Dr. Harris let out a hysterical laughter. "I've had enough of you people. You lie," she slammed her book closed, "you threaten," she stood up, knocking her chair over, "you disrespect me and my profession. You are the worst group I have EVER dealt with." She picked up her jacket and her bag, heading for the door. "I give up! You people are unhelpable! You're beyond anyone's help and you're... you're..." Dr. Harris let out a shriek of frustration before turning on her heel and leaving. The team stared at the door in shock.

"So, does that mean we are done?" Hotch glared at them.

"She left her book!" Morgan said reaching across the table for it. He opened it up to the first page and started laughing. "This is priceless. Hour one with the BAU: They're all nuts. They don't even see what's right in front of them. A drug addict?"

"Recovered" Reid piped in.

"An alcoholic?"

"I'm not an alcoholic" Dave muttered.

"A commitment phobe?"

"I do NOT have commitment issues."

"These are the people who protect this country?"

"It sounds more like a diary than a therapist's journal" Emily said, reaching across the table and snagging the notebook from Morgan's hand. "Listen to this! David Rossi, self-proclaimed ladies' man, drinks with children around, possibly sharing the alcohol?" Dave huffed.

"I am NOT an alcoholic and I would never share with Henry until he was 21!" JJ pat his thigh as Emily flipped the page.

"Jennifer Jareau, trust issues due to her own nature. Most likely suffered through parents' divorce as a child." JJ rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, wrong. My parents are still happily married in Pennsylvania." The others laughed as Emily flipped the page again.

"Ooo, there's a lot on Aaron." Emily cleared her throat. "Aaron Hotchner, emotionless no matter what subject is brought up." Hotch rubbed his forehead.

"I'm not sure I want to hear anymore." Hotch stood up and moved towards the door.

"Aw, where are you going?"

"I'm going to finish my paperwork for the day. No one leaves until they're done" Hotch called over his shoulder. The team exchanged a look before they were pushing themselves out of their chairs and out the door.

"Hey, think we could burn the notebook?" Morgan asked.

"Think Hotch will let me destroy her computer life?" Garcia asked.

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AN: Ok so that was it! It will tie into the beginning of Sexual Harassment Training. *grins* It should be good. Once again, I'd like to thank you all for being so kind. Thanks for reading and sticking with me! Please feel free to let me know what you thought!


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